Delirious Mongrel

She calls and confuses
Her room filled with whiskey and roses
She says thou not shall get emotional
Ahoy, here comes the delirious mongrel!

She tries to buy you with gifts
She tries to take you out for drinks
What she doesn't know - oh seductress!
My hunter is now the hunted

(I know this is a really, really, really bad poem but I had write this)

Forgiven

I have never been the forgiving types. Maybe its my blood, mayble my sunsign or maybe its just the way it is. I remember a guy called Apoorv (or something like that) with me in boarding school in the 3rd standard who used to piss me off quite a bit. I still remember him embaressing me a couple of times and I have never been able to forgive him for that. Same goes for a couple of batchmates at high school, just can't forgive them. I know we were dumb, idiotic kids who knew nothing about the world and just acted weird for no apparent reason. But still, just can't let it go! In fact not too long ago I used to plan revenge!
Go away stupid stupid character flaw.

Shallow

You call me your friend

You say you would do anything for me

But why do I always feel

That you are as shallow as me

I used to walk a path less traveled

I have been fighting to survive

Why did have to make me feel

So alive, so alive

I sought loyalty, and I found in you

A rose-tinted view of thyself

I let myself go and found hope

In the dark woods and the reaper

But after all we are just puppets

Hanging on, surviving

So why this passion, this love

When all of us are lying

Not original

Empty life, Girl you know
You've got me feeling stupid
You’ve got me drinking - shots of whiskey
Trying to forget this bullshit

Love is so blind, although I tried
This has gone on too long
You told me lies, so many lies
I want to start over

All the colours are fading
I don’t like this feeling
I used to see the moon and the stars
But now, the skies are empty

I am dying now
I don’t know why you’re smiling
This is how you broke my heart
I can’t believe I loved you

The other guy is always a fool

Akin to - an eye for an eye makes... I was talking to a friend of mine who had some hard hitting views.

You think the other guy is a fool, the other guy thinks you are a fool. Doesn't this make the whole world full of fools. So why bother at all.


(Well actually he did not use the world fool but a hindi-slang translation of that)

Of Social Capital

Last night I was lucky to spend a couple of hours with the electric personality on campus. Loved by all, our dearest BABA. This conversation sparked quite a few thoughts in my mind about this place, the way the culture moulds itself, the way it is passed on from one generation to the other and the way it has impacted me and to some extent changed me.

'Third term is a social term'- a brilliant person once told me. And that did turn out to be very true. In second term, the concept of groups did not exist. People felt free to talk to each other. Didn't matter what kind of MBA are neither was there any sort of faction-ism. Large number of people talked to each other, the birthday hooshings were much more crowded and there was togetherness. So what exactly did happen that changed the social dynamics entirely?

The Good, the bad

Does doing good pay? Does the moral pleasure that one derives from doing the right thing, is it real? Or is it another manifestation of a complicated human feeling, self-pity?

There has always been this raging doubt inside my head on this issue. There was a time I remember, when I believed in doing the right thing. I believed in Karma, I believed that if I do good, then good will definitely happen to me. I believed it for so long time. Now the obvious question that comes to the mind which has been a derivative of an older mind which lived by the principles of 'survival of the fittest' is - Did it pay off? Did good happen to me? Or did I lose out on all that I could have had. Only if I did what was best for me, and not something that was the right thing to do, would things turn out to be different?

Well, we could do a cost-benefit analysis on this issue. That would seem right? As data, I have my entire existence till now to validate. There have been times when I followed my morals and then there have been times I have been...well?..let's say a bit (or a lot) opportunistic. The latter has not been difficult for me, thank to my genes and also - molding of the mind by experiences - has been instrument in improving my survival skills. Let us analyze some of the key phases in my life when I have followed one of the two schools of thought and the outcomes of my actions.

1. White!: Freedom, PMW and friends. Educational, informative and an imact. A new culture, a new perspective and the horizon widens. Confidence surges and so does the hedonism. Good things happen. Actions speak louder than words, is what one realizes. The battle is on and it is fierce, both sides are determined. Well, it is a war, and there has to be and there is, a winner.

2. The ball hits the box and bounces back: Thinking, contemplating and thinking. Free up your mind, party hard. What happens next? good things start to happen. A choice has to be made and I walk into the light. The light is soothing and it gives hope. Hope and belief rule the lands. And then, as we drive alongside the yellow sands of Khurais, an agent of change awaits. The agent confronts and is met with less resistance. He walks away, happy to have made its effect felt, he walks with a halo.

3. We hit turbulence: Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. I regret to inform you that we might encounter some turbulence. So when it happens, put your hands up high. Like you're in a roller-coaster.

The ball hits the box , but this time it's wise.

4. Little Red Riding Hood: The LRRH is scared and lonely in the dark woods. She is walking towards a far away flame of the purple oil lantern. The lantern flickers in the wind, the glass crackles. Wind fumes and leaves hustle. Just as she reaches the lantern, she realizes there is no one in the cottage, only oil and wick.

And now, I am beckoned with a similar situation. The score is Bad-1: Good-0. This results is disheartening and I wish this wasn't the case. So? What happens now?

A choice has to be made right away although there is a possibility that there might not be any need to, it might have been made already. Status-quo bias would be appropriate word to describe it. Is there an agent -with a halo -coming? Or is he too happy to just enjoy the show? Isishiyagalombili naps are all that's left and still I don't see the equalizer coming. Nonetheless, a lesson will be learnt after all this is over. Will the lesson help me decide one final time what to do? I highly doubt. Such an event would mean that your learning is over and so you should hang your boots and sip some lemonade. And that's not what humans are supposed to do! Right?